


They'd Make Do

by Houseofmalfoy



Series: Destroy me, but don't let me go: A Sirius and Narcissa AU [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Background Marlene Mckinnon/Dorcas Meadowes - Freeform, Blackcest (Harry Potter), Cousin Incest, Dysfunctional Family, Dysfunctional Relationships, F/M, First War with Voldemort, I'm not sure where the line between M and E is, I've gone for M because it's not super explicit nor very long, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), POV Narcissa Black Malfoy, Unhealthy Relationships, so be careful with that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-19 03:55:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29868771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Houseofmalfoy/pseuds/Houseofmalfoy
Summary: Narcissa had long given up on the romantic fantasies she'd had as a young girl. Sirius would never live up to them anyway.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Narcissa Black Malfoy
Series: Destroy me, but don't let me go: A Sirius and Narcissa AU [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2193864
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7
Collections: RAREHPBINGO





	They'd Make Do

**Author's Note:**

> As other works in this series, it's the same AU where Narcissa runs away as well and she and Sirius refuse to call it quits on a relationship that's really reached it's expiration date by now. It's also my fill for the square "Narcissa" on my Rare HP Bingo bingocard!

As a young girl, Narcissa had been so fond of the romance surrounding Valentine’s day. 

She’d envied the couples she watched strolling through Hogsmeade in the winter; watched with disdain how the older Slytherin girls received jewellery from their boyfriends, and when it had been her turn to visit Madam Puddifoot’s on Lucius Malfoy’s arm she had been over the moon with happiness. 

She had fallen out of love with that fantasy a long time ago.

On Valentine’s day, she woke up in Sirius Black’s flat in the midst of mismatched and used dishes and an old t-shirt of his that he’d thrown over a chair weeks ago. Perfectly out of place in her expensive white nightgown and magically braided hair.

Narcissa left the bedroom, renewing the heating charm on her nightgown because she and Sirius could never agree on an appropriate room temperature. _ Valentine’s day _ . She wondered if her cousin had even remembered the date, much less if he’d planned anything for today. She doubted it.

Sirius wasn’t a romantic, not often. He had his moments of grand gestures to remind her just how much she did mean to him despite everything they put each other through, but he’d never been  _ romantic _ . 

He wasn’t the type to bring home a bouquet of flowers just because he could; not the type to lead her blindfolded into a candle-lit bedroom as a surprise after a long day. Narcissa had made her peace with that. What Sirius lacked in romantic gestures he made up for in passion and nostalgia, and that was really all she’d ever wanted from him, wasn’t it?

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” Narcissa told him, knowing damn well what she was getting into by bringing the day up. They’d known each other their whole lives, she knew the ways to get under his skin like no one else did, and he knew exactly when she was pushing his buttons on purpose. 

Why they played those games, they were never quite sure.

Sirius put down his mug of coffee and turned to her, a bad night’s sleep fueling his annoyance. “Really, Cissa?”

This always happened when they went to bed angry with one another. It didn’t come as a surprise, not anymore. If they argued in the evening and didn’t get it out of their system before they fell asleep, the morning after would be filled with poorly hidden frustrations and pent up anger. 

It happened more often than not. It always had. 

“Don’t give me that look,” she said, rolling her eyes at her cousin. “I’m not naive enough to expect you to have planned something.”

“They don’t sell the right cards.” Sirius turned away from her when she approached. She sighed in frustration, taking the mug he’d left on the counter. “No Valentine’s cards that say ‘you’re a right pain in the arse, but family’s forever’, or ‘at least we’re equally unhappy’.”

Narcissa took a sip from his mug, making a face at the bitter taste of coffee far too strong for her liking. He had the audacity to laugh at her, and for that she despised him. “Didn’t I just say I hadn’t expected anything?”

“You’re saying you’re pissed at me for not proving you wrong, and you damn well know it.”

The look on Sirius’ face screamed bloody murder, but before Narcissa could argue against his correct statement he rolled his eyes and took a step back. “I’m not in the fucking mood today, Cissa.”

Before she’d had a chance to hold him back, Sirius was out the door. 

oOo

Narcissa spent the day reading and opening a bottle of rosé before the clock had hit four, uncaring of Sirius’ whereabouts. It wasn’t the first time one of them had left in such manner, and it wasn’t going to be the last time either. 

There’d been times he was gone for days, crashing on James’ couch, and Narcissa wouldn’t know where he was until he came back through the door smelling of cigarettes and whisky. She, too, had left Sirius alone for days at a time; she supposed by now they ought to be used to it. 

Sometimes she questioned why they still did this to themselves; wondered where it had gone so miraculously wrong in their lives that they had settled for each other knowing damn well they would never be normal, never be okay, never be good to each other like the love stories she’d dreamt of as a child.

Sirius would never be Narcissa’s happily ever after. She’d long outgrown the fantasy she might once have entertained that he could be. He was her lifeline in times of war, keeping her afloat when she felt like she was drowning in everything that was going on around them, but he’d never make her happy for longer than a singular day at a time. 

Sirius had convinced her to leave with him years ago; and though the sting of being burned off the family tree she’d been so proud of all her life had faded with him, she didn’t know where she would be if she hadn’t had Sirius Black and his array of misfit friends around her. Even if it hurt.

He was tearing her apart just as she was him, and yet she knew she would be just as lost without him as she hoped he’d be without her. 

He’d have to do— they’d have to do. They’d make do, for the time being at the very least. 

That seemed easier to do when the sun began to set outside and Sirius burst back into the flat, a bottle of wine and a bouquet of pink tulips in his right hand and a burning cigarette in his left. Narcissa raised her eyebrows at him. 

“Marls told me to get over myself; it’s the flowers she gave Dorcas earlier today,” Sirius told her dismissively, handing them to her with an exaggerated bow. She laughed. 

“Of course she did,” Narcissa smiled, admiring the flowers briefly before putting them aside; Marlene was a hopeless romantic at heart, she knew, just as she knew that Dorcas would’ve appreciated the bouquet but paid no real value to it. Their friends only celebrated Valentine’s day because Marlene insisted on it. 

Sirius kissed her lips and sat down beside her. “Something about war and death and not agreeing with whatever we’ve got going on but knowing a girl like you ought to be romanced properly, I don’t know, I stopped listening halfway through.”

“Of course you did,” Narcissa muttered, kissing him back before she pulled away and reached for the bottle of wine he held. “Marlene’s too?”

“That’s all me.” The grin on Sirius’ face was intoxicating. 

“Getting me drunk is your idea of a romantic holiday?” She teased, opening the bottle as she did. Sirius laughed. He conjured two glasses for them that he held before her so she could fill them. 

“That’s exactly it, love,” he told her, and Narcissa would’ve rolled her eyes if she’d been able to look away from him. 

Despite the rosé she’d been drinking, the taste of wine on her lips was a welcome one. 

These moments with Sirius were among her favourite ones in the world; kicked back on his damaged couch that would never live up to Narcissa’s standards of quality, sipping wine from glasses that weren’t made for it, uncaring about the world beyond their shared flat. They made her feel careless and free, happier than she’d ever have expected to be in a place like this with a guy like Sirius. 

She loved nothing more. 

Sirius’ arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer to him on the old couch. The wine she’d been about to sip from spilt over her chin, and he laughed at her. “Merlin, I can’t stand you,” Narcissa hissed at him as he wiped the wine from her face and licked his fingers. 

Despite her frustration, she couldn’t tear her eyes away from his mouth after her attention had been drawn to it so purposefully. When Narcissa looked up, Sirius smirked at her as though he knew exactly what was going through her mind. “And yet you can’t live without me.”

He downed his glass of wine then, placing it back on the table with such force Narcissa almost feared it would break. Sirius kissed her on the lips, just as demanding as she’d been expecting of him, but pulled away after a few seconds to raise his eyebrows at her in question. 

“I can’t,” Narcissa admitted, “it’s the curse I’m forced to live my life with.” She nodded at his silent question, closing the space between them the moment she’d stopped speaking. 

The tulips were pushed from the couch, and if her thoughts hadn’t been thrown out by the sensation of Sirius Black’s tongue Narcissa might’ve felt bad for Marlene’s romantic streak. As it were, she couldn’t care less; far too preoccupied with taking off her cousin’s shirt. 

Drunk on wine and passion, moving into Sirius’ lap without breaking their hungry kiss, all anger about this morning’s fight and all anxiety she had for their future together fell from Narcissa’s thoughts. 

It didn’t matter that they’d never work out; it didn’t matter that this morning’s argument was not going to be the last of this week or perhaps even today; it didn’t matter that Sirius Black infuriated her like no one else. 

He made her blood boil with all he did, but that didn’t matter when he could set her on fire with just as much ease. 

Sirius bit her lip, breaking the kiss to laugh at her undignified huff, and his mocking was immediately forgotten when his hands wandered beneath her robes until he had his thumbs hooked on her knickers and his hands firmly on her hips. 

Narcissa kissed him again, her own hands buried tightly in his messy curls, moving against his fingers inside her until she was moaning against his lips. She could feel how hard Sirius was when he pushed her down onto the old couch, and she didn’t give a damn when their next turn for the worst would be when his lips crashed into hers once more. 

If this was as close to love as she and Sirius were ever going to get, Narcissa could find a way to live with that.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this, please know I do really appreciate kudos and comments, even if takes me a little while to respond to them most of the time! Thank you for reading <3


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